Guidelines to a healthy romp

25Jun07

Oxymoron. Healthy romps don’t actually exist. At least not in my experiences. But I’ll do my best to create rules which could make the romp as normal and stress-free as possible.


Rule 1: Have an idea of whom you are getting into, figuratively and literally. reckless romps can risk diseases, and even worse you could be entering an emotional wreck.

Rule 2: As much as you want to get your piece, think of them. If its going to leave them tossed and turned after you’re done with them. Its not worth it. You always got your Vaseline and tissues, not as fulfilling, but much easier.

Rule 3: Virgins are off-limits for the most parts. Though due to the leniency of American standards(virgins past 16 are a miracle), this is a moot point. BUT, I have ran into a few virgins in their late teens to early twenty’s, and those must be treated delicately. So unless they ask at least a dozen times, do not pursue. Ever.

Rule 4: Don’t be lousy in bed. You want to make sure this romp remembers you, as it helps keep it on a back-burner for future necessities. Also, they are likely to spread the word of your abilities, ecstatic or lacking. And remember, as a safe bet, you aren’t as good as you think you are.

Rule 5: Try not to have sex with someone who has a significant other. It speaks poorly on the quality of a person you are. I make sure there is emphasis on “try.” As it can be easy to think, well its not me who’s getting royally fucked, and that’s true, but don’t tempt Karma to do the same to you.

Rule 6: Do not ever become attached to the subject. First of all they’re just a romp for you, and most likely the feeling is mutual. If you believe there is a chance that hook-ups can be a gateway to relationships. If that’s the case, please get a self-help book on relationships.

Rule 7: Never brag about your romps, or compromise the respect of the other you’re involved with. Everyone gets laid in this day of age. Its a miracle to see somebody do otherwise. So practice modesty and safe sex.


How did I come to making these guidelines? Easy. I tend to break all of them in the span of a few months. So everything I do, the opposite of it is the rule to follow. But I am in the process of learning how to put a leash around my crotch.

Now I got an interesting evening lined up for myself 😉 Wish me luck.

~AF

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