The hussle of the menial job has kept me real busy. Let’s follow the task’s a bit that I am responsible for. It’s not tough, but at ten hour days, it gets a bit tiring. Here it goes.

1. Arrive at work, assert my inability to listen

2. Work at my own leisure

3. Hit on anything with nice legs

4. Hit on any co-worker with nice legs as well

5. Hide my bulging erection

6. Go home

Simple, right? Sadly, I am working hard to hide this job. Its demeaning, and its rampant with 18 year old workers. Which is good and bad, the 18 year old girls are amazingly easy. The guys, well, easy obstacles to topple over?

So then my day goes on.

7. prepare dinner

8. Go out to the club/bar/house party

9. IF I return home at all, I come in stumbling, and head to do my resume and job searches, ineffective.

10. Go to sleep after and repeat from step 1.

My life needs a change. Immediately.

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New Job Bummer

12Jul07

It’s like nothing changes. Everything just cycles through as I am not a huge fan of this job. The only thing that could prevent me of going in sane was thinking about the girls that I could possibly romp with in my department.

It was like juggling for me. Whenever I got bored, I juggled the thought of other girls. Though tonight I would be seeing J, and she’s a new one that I haven’t had a chance of getting into her pants. She is one of those girls who’s always relaxed and full of comedic value to alleviate any mood, when hanging out in crowds or one on one.

Maybe it wouldn’t even be sexual – unlikely – but hopefully it will be completely platonic, for once.

Don’t think of me as too pessimistic at my ability to hold platonic relationships. There is merely a correlation between my sex drive and my stress levels. The more stressed out I get, the more in need of female attention I become. It’s a secure ego boost. It helps validate my existence and my conscious worth. A sad but true realization.

And at this time my new job is functioning as the Viagra to my sex drive. The way this job functions its completely frustrating. It is far too strict, along with many rules that don’t work(I would know, I used to be a manager there at one point.)

Either way, I hope my girlfriend doesn’t catch wind of me hanging out(translation: Banging) with other girls.  I suppose I have to resolve that issue as well, its slightly immoral.

~AF


Online training

04Jul07

Ever heard of online training? I just applied for a job with it. Its rather interesting, I can skim the boring parts, or blog this post while I am going through the training itself.

I feel a bit guilty, but its hard to feign interest with this material, and the fact I have already worked at this place a few years ago. I technically got fired from there. Luckily, its an Amusement park, and its run by the essence of carny’s, so regular rules don’t always apply.

I was one hell of a carny too. Possibly part of the reason I can talk to girls with complete bullshit dripping through my lips. Metaphorically, otherwise it sounds a bit gross. At least it seems like I now have a job again. I am learning to retrace my steps all over again, not really moving forward in life. It’s frustrating.
~AF


Oxymoron. Healthy romps don’t actually exist. At least not in my experiences. But I’ll do my best to create rules which could make the romp as normal and stress-free as possible.


Rule 1: Have an idea of whom you are getting into, figuratively and literally. reckless romps can risk diseases, and even worse you could be entering an emotional wreck.

Rule 2: As much as you want to get your piece, think of them. If its going to leave them tossed and turned after you’re done with them. Its not worth it. You always got your Vaseline and tissues, not as fulfilling, but much easier.

Rule 3: Virgins are off-limits for the most parts. Though due to the leniency of American standards(virgins past 16 are a miracle), this is a moot point. BUT, I have ran into a few virgins in their late teens to early twenty’s, and those must be treated delicately. So unless they ask at least a dozen times, do not pursue. Ever.

Rule 4: Don’t be lousy in bed. You want to make sure this romp remembers you, as it helps keep it on a back-burner for future necessities. Also, they are likely to spread the word of your abilities, ecstatic or lacking. And remember, as a safe bet, you aren’t as good as you think you are.

Rule 5: Try not to have sex with someone who has a significant other. It speaks poorly on the quality of a person you are. I make sure there is emphasis on “try.” As it can be easy to think, well its not me who’s getting royally fucked, and that’s true, but don’t tempt Karma to do the same to you.

Rule 6: Do not ever become attached to the subject. First of all they’re just a romp for you, and most likely the feeling is mutual. If you believe there is a chance that hook-ups can be a gateway to relationships. If that’s the case, please get a self-help book on relationships.

Rule 7: Never brag about your romps, or compromise the respect of the other you’re involved with. Everyone gets laid in this day of age. Its a miracle to see somebody do otherwise. So practice modesty and safe sex.


How did I come to making these guidelines? Easy. I tend to break all of them in the span of a few months. So everything I do, the opposite of it is the rule to follow. But I am in the process of learning how to put a leash around my crotch.

Now I got an interesting evening lined up for myself 😉 Wish me luck.

~AF


Our conversation ended shortly after that. He decided to take another game with his cousin in the water. I reluctantly refused, opting to enjoy the four girls smoking across from us, one of which couldn’t have been even old enough to smoke.

My friend D decided to come sit next to me to enjoy the scenery as well. “You like what you see?”

“Can’t really complain. How about you? Any ladies in your life?”

He gave me a bored expression, “Not really.”

I nodded, “How about that one girl I met a while ago?”

“Oh ya, she’s well… she calls me after her class on Mondays and Fridays.” He said with a disappointed tone.

I was shocked, I knew this girl was square, but this fucking predictable? This was unprecedented. She’s even plans when she calls him. “I think she just needs a good fuck to loosen her up.”

He scoffed at my vulgar response, “Maybe you should do the honors.”

“No, I don’t mess with most virgins, its against my rules.”

“You got rules?”

“More like guidelines, but either way, what do you think I would do with her?”

Everyone devises rules and guidelines with which they follow with their life. When it comes to the opposite sex and dealing with them its especially important, for without rules and guidelines you would find yourself in a heap of steaming disaster.

That is the motto of everything I do. I follow guideline, surrounded by utter spontaneous chaos. But its chaos that follows guidelines? Ya hear?

So in the next few days I will post the guidelines that dictate to which girls I am allowed to have a healthy romp with. According to the rules of course. In fact, I am as excited as a school girl to share the fact that I have some working moral fiber of which to speak of.

~AF


Beautiful day outside, and no job still. I ended up spending most of the day at the beach with a few friends. The breeze is amazing, the sun shining bright adding a glimmer to every half-naked body, and that scenery is just amazing.

After a game of waterball, something I am convinced we just made up. My friend goes on his usual rants regarding females.

“You know, it really sucks being a nice guy.” My friend, whom will remain anonymous is still single and dying for a relationship. The anti-thesis of myself.

“Woh, don’t lump me in as a nice guy, I am proficient at being an asshole.” I shoot back at him.

“Ya, you kinda ruin it for all of us.”

“Nah, remember every nice guy had a girl turn him into that ass.”

“Well…you could slow down a little, your numbers are ludicrous. And I haven’t seen you get hurt recently anyway. ”

I check the tan on my body, indulging in momentary vanity, “Jealous much? And don’t forget everyone has their story.”

“I know, but anyway no, I would only sleep with girls I love.”

He’s quite old fashioned. I admit that I use sexual acts as a vehicle for my comfort. While for him its an act of devotion and commitment. Yuck.

I outgrew the phase where sex was for love a long time ago. My reasons withheld, but I know for a lot of other guys, there’s always that one bitch that gets a hold of their balls and heart, and rips them to shreds. After that, sex is just sex…no matter how much harder you try to piece it back together, there’s nothing left to it.

But I believe the bigger problem he has with what I do. Is that I tend to use my dick as an anecdotal tool of choice, which tends to leave some psychological scars on girls, ruining it for a ton of other guys. Till their knight in shining armor shows up, which sure as hell isn’t me.

There’s more coming later on today.


Pizza

19Jun07

A Philly cheese steak pizza.

Highlight of my night.

Could have been more. As I hung out with a co-worker, from a previous job. We watched a movie, and just hung around. Things got slightly heated, and quickly froze over like cooling lava. Especially when her mother walked in with only the words, Go home.

Her daughter was scrambling for her shirt and bra. I felt bad for her, but I was to busy going out the door, leaving her to fend for herself. But she really should have had better foresight on the situation that being home from college, she’d have to know how to keep guys on the down low.

Oh well, back to my pizza. My little friend and I ain’t got much else going on.

~AF